Thursday, August 9, 2012

Engaged? Engaged to be Engaged?

KC has this way about her that makes me give her my opinion whether she wants to hear it or not. Given a choice, she would choose "not" every time. In fact, even when I say my piece she is choosing "not" by her facial expressions and body language.

The thing is that she is constantly bitching and moaning about the way others act or talk or treat her. So, the Mom in me knows that she must be in need of a reminder that she is full of shit, since she does all the same crap to everyone around her -- especially her parents and siblings.

Around her birthday she pulled her usual "I am entitled to the whole world because I have a birthday this week" attitude. The boyfriend/fiance was home on leave and had been staying here. We placed her in the uncomfortable position of having to make some adult decisions which she 100% failed at. She demands regularly that she be treated like an adult, but she regularly acts like a spoiled brat and treats her family so poorly that no one can find a way to treat her any different than the child she acts like. Could be worse, we could treat her as shitty as she treats us and life would be extra grand then.

The boyfriend/fiance was brought into a discussion intentionally so we could make clear where we stood on all the lies and deceptions and failures to keep the promises she made to us last summer when we allowed her back home after serious BS on her part. At the end of the conversation, she left and he stayed. He wanted to clarify the "Engagement" with us, because we were apparently mistaken to be under the impression that they were actually betrothed. He told us that they were promised to be engaged in the future, but NOT engaged now. He gave a whole speech about how he would have done all the right things by talking to us and such if they were really engaged. The kicker was that he claimed not to know how she could have misconstrued that in her mind. He went on to request that we not say anything to her.

What, you say? Don't tell her? Well at the time, we agreed but said he should fix it. Since then it has apparently not been addressed and KC talks and acts like an engaged girl and is planning and pinteresting away to decorate her future home and create her magical upcoming wedding, still quite unaware that she is only PRE-engaged.
 
Today she was doing that thing I mentioned up top - the holier than thou act. Once again, my "Mom is calling you out" instincts jumped onto my vocal chords and started strumming away. There came a point when I decided we were having it all out in the open. So now she has to wade through both her own and the boyfriend/pre-fiance's big pile of BS.

Kids never seem to get that the one place you ought to be kissing some serious ass is the one place they never do. What's worse is even parents have their limits and we can shut down anytime. KC found out we were and are serious that the "Bank of Mom and Dad" was closed indefinitely when she came home in May, and yet she still cannot see that the way to get to us is by kindness and decency. She said she doesn't tell me things because I don't seem interested... She's right. She's made the environment so hostile that I don't care about the minutiae of her life anymore. Only she can fix that and I don't really see that happening. She has made a career of hurting and alienating those who love her most, and it's one of the few things she hasn't quit...

1 comment:

  1. I feel sorry for your predicament and also feel sorry for her... x

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