Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Who ARE you?

This morning while checkin' out the posts of some of the blogs I follow, I came across a post from one of my more recently discovered fave blogs: My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream. I really enjoy Heather's posts for their humor and frankness. Tuesday she had a guest post from fellow blogger Tiffany over at Mommy Rawks.

I was really moved by her heartfelt post about being ostracized by other parents for being different than they are. Here I am linking back to Tiffany's post at her own blog, because like all of us newer bloggers, she needs traffic and followers.

I may be 40 now, but when I was a Mom at 21, I ran up against plenty of prejudice. I was first a single Mom which was apparently dirty, I was second a former (?) wild-child (though to be honest I think I was tame in comparison to most) and third I was YOUNG. My daughter was with a sitter for a few years, but when pre-school time came, I took her back to the place my brothers and I had gone as tykes. It was closer to work than anything near where we lived and they were willing to cut me significant slack in the otherwise expensive hoity toity tuition.

There I was in my ancient Crown Victoria OR occasionally in my boyfriend's old F150 dropping my daughter off whilst the other Mom's stared in horror that our Ford's might somehow contaminate their Beamers and Mercedes etc... I dressed in leggings and tunics or jeans and t-shirt's back then, though my clothes were fairly nice because I was benefiting from Mom's 30% employee discount at Woodward & Lothrop (a local department store, now defunct), but they were obviously from the JUNIORS department. The other mommies wore Sak's 5th Avenue, Nordstron's, Neiman Marcus and Garfinkle's (the top dollar department stores) attire. When parent meetings were held for class group activities, I was not invited, though I was expected to contribute same as the rest of them. No matter that they intentionally assigned me things that were a strain on my lowly budget, I always scraped it together. I was not going to be cowed by those snobs, many of whom had no clue I grew up right in their midst, though we were never in the same financial class as they were -- my parents divorce took care of that... Anyway, they ignored me and when I was at school for functions I was left by myself with no one to talk with, often when I was approaching they turned away. My daughter was not mistreated that I ever saw. She was invited to the other kids birthdays, but I imagine that was more due to school policy of inviting everyone in the class.

Eventually the boyfriend became the Hubster, but that did nothing to improve the snobby attitude straight through the end of Kindergarten. I was really glad when we bought a house and my daughter was headed to first grade in our new town. I had high hopes I would be less ignored by the other mom's since we were not living in snob-ville. Well it took a few years to overcome it, but I was eventually accepted there to a degree. My daughter was nearly in 5th grade before I finally began to feel like I was old enough to be listened to. Never mind that I spearheaded of a couple PTA programs and served as PTA Treasurer for 2 years (and a damned good one at that!). There were a few mom's who did treat me right and I still consider them among my dearest friends; Thank you Donna and Ellen! XX

So, tell me, do you find you are ostracized for some reason? Moving here at 35 to IL was a whole new eye-opening experience in snubbing, just because I am not local. That is for another day OR if you have nothing better to do with your time, you could go look at some of my early posts: The Bitchin Spot July 2010 archive.

Meanwhile, go over and give my Blog Buddies your attention and I hope you will become Blog Buddies too!

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