Monday, February 21, 2011

Better out than in....? UPDATE

My post, Better out than in.....?  was written in November, months after an incident described within it. A week or 2 ago, I finally was in a position to repay JM for his pool soaked phone. This was accomplished without fanfare when I sent him a message to inquire how he wanted his money. He made a point to tell me that he always knew that when I was able, he would be reimbursed.

S send me an e-mail today. She had all of this to say:
T, just wanted to say thank you for making it right with Josh...

Woohoo, I feel so special right now... Can you believe that shit? I mean that very day I explained our situation and they were OK with waiting until we were in a better position, given that our legal bills were getting ridiculous. That there was any doubt that they would get their money confounds me! That S cut me out was no surprise at all and that she included my 10 year old (now 11) in the punishment really wasn't either.

Any other time with anyone else, I would have let an e-mail such as this go unanswered or replied with a "no problem" response. However, because of the fact that I was never given the benefit of the doubt AND the fact that S had done this kind of thing several times previously, this time I decided that the hollow meaningless thanks needed a response regarding the treatment of both myself  and E. E's treatment being the primary concern for me. So I replied with the message below that is neither warm and fuzzy nor anything but blunt and to the point... (SOOOO unlike me, right???:-)

Your thanks are not necessary.
I unintentionally caused damage and I said I would pay for it -- from the beginning. There was never any reason to doubt that I would. I told you both that very day that I would reimburse after we had settled our extremely costly legal battle with the neighbor and that it may take a while. You both had no issue with that at the time.
It seems I was not given the benefit of the doubt, even though I have never given any of you one single reason to doubt my integrity. Considering how many hours I gave to your family, at no cost, so you could take care of your family's needs in Arizona (and quite a few times so that J could work OVERTIME to make money to help pay for all the traveling), I think I deserved a bit better than being shut out without explanation. That does not mean I was surprised, given that was the 3rd or 4th time you did so since I have known you.
Shutting me out is the least of my concerns! The biggest one is that when you shut me out you also shut out E. E adores M. She has been devastated by this and that is unacceptable to me. If the girls want to be friends, that does not require us to be. I can live with not being friends -- I am used to it by now. BUT In my opinion, there is no cause for hurting my child and I think you owe E an apology. You hurt my child for absolutely no reason! I would NEVER intentionally hurt one of your kids!
The girls are old enough now that we do not hardly have to speak to each other for them to have their time together, so the ball is in your court. I do not want to have to tell E she cannot call M ever again. The choice is yours and yours alone, since you are the one who keeps slamming the doors closed for reasons unknown.

So, who the hell knows what will happen now. E and M have been making friends again on the bus and have been trying to get together all week. Today E called M and was told M had a friend over. So, she called another friend and arranged a sleepover for tonight. Minutes later M called to find out what E wanted. E tells me that M can play, BUT only at her house and we have to drive her and pick her up. Well that just sounded snarky to me! Don't get me wrong I have no issue driving her down  the road, but the only way to play is at their house? Whatever! Since E had arrangements already, I said they would have to try another time. That was partly why I was in the mood to reply when I saw that I had received such a wonderful e-mail from S.

My kid is not a pawn and I am planning to be EXTREMELY guarded in how we play this out -- assuming S even bothers to allow the girls to be friends. Somehow I have my doubts...

Editor's Note:
Some minor edits have been made to this post.

No comments:

Post a Comment